Author Archive

Fitness Vision or Workout Routine

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009 by Angela

Since grammar school, I was a workout fanatic. I worked out all the time. I played sports and wanted to be involved in active activities. I couldn’t stand being on the beach unless I was doing something. It was really more of a frenzy and fanatic lifestyle. I was doing it more to avoid certain things in my life and to not gain weight. They were all reactive reasons rather than for a higher purpose.

Don’t get me wrong- it was a better choice to be active and engaged than a lot of things I could have chosen. The only problem was it wasn’t fulfilling. I was just trying to get through the workout- didn’t really experience it all. After I graduated college, I continued being committed to working out, however I started making fitness goals. I started running and doing races. I was striving towards improving my times. I tried new things. I learned how to swim again to be able to do a triathlon. So, now I was focused on positive outcomes and goals. Better step, but still unfulfilling to what I was hoping for.

I did some work with Judith Wright and her Soft Addictions work and The One Decision. I began to understand what it meant to have a vision for my body- a higher purpose. My vision includes that I am a fit and healthy woman. My body is flexible and strong. I enjoy experiencing my body in all ways. It was from this that then the goals for running, working out, lifting weights started to have more meaning. I would use my vision to help me get started on the days I didn’t want to. I used my vision to decide the choice of workout that was important for me. I got more creative. I had more workout partners to be engaged with while I was working out. I would notice my breathing, feel my muscles, think through ideas, and have feelings when I worked out now. I was more alive and enjoying working out as something more not just something I had to do. Having a vision in all areas my life has helped provide me with more meaning, purpose and connection in my life and a greater reason to keep working out.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Leading a Great Life, Personal Growth, Soft Addictions | No Comments »

Dealing with Aging Parents

Friday, October 2nd, 2009 by Angela

We recently put my Mom who is 82 into a nursing home. Her diagnosis is vascular dementia. From the research, they say she would have up to 5 years and would probably die from a heart related condition like a stroke or a heart attack. It has been difficult knowing she ready to die. Right now, she is still capable of understanding and making decisions. Thus, we got her funeral arrangements in line and other wishes she has so we can’t fight about it as a family later and only honor her requests. 

I visit her more now that she lives closer. We had a challenging relationship over the years. Over the past several years, we have expressed all our feelings to each other. Today, we are closer than ever and have a greater appreciation for each other as well. The fighting over the years, the truth telling on both our parts, I believe created a more intimate relationship. 

During our visits, I have told her I want her to die in peace. It has been a wonderful process for me with my mom to be reviewing her life. I have enjoyed knowing her more and sharing with her about my feelings about my experience of her. It has been healing for both of us. I have been supporting her with coming to terms with her life and how she lived. She is expressing more feelings. I am experiencing her in transforming her life. She is ready to die and that saddens me. I am challenging her to have a purpose in these final years rather than just waiting.

I know when my mom dies, I will be sad, yet I will also be happy for knowing we will feel nothing but love for each other and hopefully my mom will feel less shame and regret about her life. I can say this has been only possible because of the personal growth work I have done over the years at the Wright Leadership Institute. It has been by my decision to be honest with her and her with me and talking about all the “unconventional” feelings and judgments that most families would say you shouldn’t say to each other. This has created more closeness than I ever thought I would have.

Tags: , ,
Posted in Leadership, Personal Growth, Relationships | No Comments »

“Sacred Travel” to a Park

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 by Angela

It was a average day and it looked like rain. I had several errands to run before work and didn’t have much time. My son who is 2 really wanted to go to the park. I scheduled out the morning and worked it out to have about an hour to get to and from the park and have maybe 45 mins to play there and then I would go straight to work.

As the morning progressed, things were moving along and of course you don’t plan for the little detours that happen. The time was getting tighter. I looked at the clock and I have 35 minutes to go to the park. My mind went back and forth- go, not go. I had all the reasons in the world to not go- not enough time, it probably will rain, etc. 

Suddenly, I remember what I had learned from Judith Wright over the years on the sacred travel trips and pilgrimages she leads each year. We would be in a different city and we would have a small window of time. She would have us go into a museum and see one specific painting she read about or go into a temple and pray and meditate or wherever she would have us go. We would take in the awe and wonderment of that place in a short period of time realizing you don’t really need that much time to have a great experience yet I know I tell myself all the time that I need more time to do it. 

With that memory, I said we are going to the park. I cruised there with my son in the baby jogger, me in my work attire and computer bag. We got to the park and I set my timer for 22 minutes. I told my son we only have a small time to play and let’s go. He had a blast in those 22 minutes. He went up and down the slide several times, hung from the monkey bars. He even met a little friend who lives close to where I work and I met her mom. We all connected in a short period of time. I felt I had a pilgrimage moment at a park.

I am grateful for the lessons I have learned on the trips Judith Wright has lead. I have learned how to experience life more fully and it has transformed how I travel and how I take “mini” trips every day.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Leading a Great Life, Parenting, Personal Growth, Relationships | No Comments »

Deciding to be less of a crank!

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 by Angela

I attended Judith Wright’s Soft Addiction Solution training weekend this past weekend. It was a lot of fun. I was able to have a sense of humor about my soft addictions. The humor also allowed me to have all my feelings. I felt sad as I discovered the lost opportunities I had because of engaging in soft addictions. With the context Judith set, my sadness didn’t bring me down into despair or victimhood but it gave me hope.

It was easy to want to take the next steps. Breaking it down to look at one step at a time to be able to be more genuinely me started to seem doable. I had given up caffeine for over 8 years now and pop naturally was eliminated from there. This time, I am ready to look at the more challenging soft addiction for me that she referred to as the mood addictions. I am pretty darn cranky most of the time.

I was able to understand more about the physiological reaction and the looped thinking. I understand how my brain has come to crave my mood addicted state. I can be a grumpy son of a gun and it has cost me many relationships and I want that to stop. However, with her data, her compassion, her 8 key skills, I feel I am on the way to a better start than I ever have been. I am starting with just simply saying hi as I see people and if I know them to use their name rather than quickly walking by because I have to get somewhere. You can link here for more information about her work.

 http://www.softaddictions.com/

Tags: , , ,
Posted in Personal Growth, Soft Addictions | No Comments »